1. The Cables Tangle, Trip, and Are Susceptible to Chewing

Don’t you hate when you find your cables in a tangled mess, especially after tripping over them? Isn’t it frustrating when you find chew marks all over them as if an over-reactive animal didn’t approve of the existence of this ungodly creation and it’s ability to dominate the house?

2. They Pull Those Delicious Crumbs Out of the Carpet

Why in the world would you want something so heinous as that monster of a thing to take one of life’s simplest pleasures: eating random stuff after the 5 second rule prevents the humans from doing so?

3. Needlessly Loud

It is clearly the most annoying sou— SQUIRREL! BARK BARK BARK! THERE IS A SQUIRREL IN THE TREE! Wait, what was I saying?

4. Who Wants To Be Clean?

Smell is an identifying characteristic. When you remove that, all the comfort and familiarity is lost.

5. You Have a Dog For That

Seriously. You have a dog. I’ll take care of the floor. There would be no crumbs if you stopped telling me to stop eating stuff. There is food in there.